Mike Stanley: Tough Luck Chump

Mike Stanley is a bald, whimsical huckster. No, wait. Mike Stanley looks like a Sears mannequin without the wig. No, wait. Mike Stanley could be mistaken for Popeye’s drunken nephew. No, wait! Oh, who are we kidding? Despite all the self-deprecating humor this Tough Luck Chump sends flying his own way, you can actually see Mike Stanley take the stage in his brand new DVD, out now from Stand Up! Records. The problem is, he’s kind of a looker. With a mouth on him. Just the way we like them. Stanley, who’s named his memorable turn live at Chicago’s Lakeshore Theater for what his dad would say if he needed bail (“Tough luck, chump!”), is particularly helpful as a giver of solid advice. For instance, on the topic of fathering, he astutely points out that he knows he’s not ready for fatherhood. You have to learn to drink and drive, pay child support, and look idiotic in shorts. That’s a lot of responsibility. Hell, he’s still busy getting DUI’s while riding his bike around Boystown. Just because about the only damage he’s doing drinking and pedaling involves breaking his waffle cone, doesn’t mean Mike Stanley’s not a menace to society. Find a finger in your fast food? No, you just found a way around those germy elevator buttons! And for all you single ladies, Stanley’s got at least one big secret (okay, it’s not that big…) Beyonce won’t tell you. A DVD is the perfect next step for Stanley; without the visuals, you’d be missing at least 75% of the awesomeness contained in his lady-bowler-handjob-joke. See? You can’t resist.